I’ve been wanting to post here since days, but I finally come to it at 1:23 am when I have an exam at 10:00 am and I don’t know shit.
Well, that’s me! You remember the PACE days… sigh. Things haven’t changed one bit in my mind when it comes to exams.
"Procrastination for life" says my gay cousin brother when I complained about me not being able to study, over Snapchat.
Also, I’ve been having too much caffeine these days. Monster Energy and RedBull. I’m feeling very weird today. I think that maybe because of a few things like drinking a whole can of Monster Energy while being stuck in horrible traffic in a rickshaw and inhaling all the good smoke. Also, it can mostly be about the stupid exam tomorrow.
I have a MacBook now.
Yes I do, and it’s awesome. Got it after doing a lot of drama. Well… half drama. I do have real feelings you know. I can’t complain. iPhone, iMac, i20 (Well it’s not an iMac but it sounds better this way doesn’t it?). I didn’t use to stress over exams before… I think it’s the caffeine working its magic right now. Still I can’t study for shit.
I can’t sleep until I waste some time watching 9gag.tv or some or the other movie. I start watching at 1, end up sleeping on my MacBook by 3 or 4. Wake up tired. Hate all this. I have a lot of inertia, I now realise. Like, a lot a lot. Also, Game of Thrones! I love that show. It’s really stressful avoiding spoilers though. The internet is dark and full of spoilers. You have to keep chanting that.
What am I going on ranting about? This wasn’t even what this post was gonna be about…
It was gonna be another one of my classic cry-over-my-life fest. My life isn’t perfect and it won’t be. I just hate that about life. My life. There’s just this thing in my head that believes that some other particular people have perfect lives. I call that thing my brain. Maybe I’m just too jealous.
I’m trying to care less
Or am I? I don’t know. Well the best part is, I don’t have to think about this. But it constantly keeps gnawing me. I have a HUGE guilty conscience. She calls me a pussy, among other things. I have to pretend like I’m not hurt and shit. I don’t know what the future holds. But… brace yourselves, vacations are coming. I can’t help but feel scared and depressed thinking about it. That’s because of the perfect track record of previous vacations making me suicidal. I don’t need to share why. I know.
It’s true I’ve caught my flow… better sleep now. I can think of a million more things, a million more problems, a million more thoughts… I’ll just add a (good? witty?) picture to this post and try to sleep.