I have an exam tomorrow/today and I haven’t started studying

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Hello myself.

I’ve been wanting to post here since days, but I finally come to it at 1:23 am when I have an exam at 10:00 am and I don’t know shit.

Well, that’s me! You remember the PACE days… sigh. Things haven’t changed one bit in my mind when it comes to exams. 

"Procrastination for life" says my gay cousin brother when I complained about me not being able to study, over Snapchat.

Also, I’ve been having too much caffeine these days. Monster Energy and RedBull. I’m feeling very weird today. I think that maybe because of a few things like drinking a whole can of Monster Energy while being stuck in horrible traffic in a rickshaw and inhaling all the good smoke. Also, it can mostly be about the stupid exam tomorrow. 

I have a MacBook now.

Yes I do, and it’s awesome. Got it after doing a lot of drama. Well… half drama. I do have real feelings you know. I can’t complain. iPhone, iMac, i20 (Well it’s not an iMac but it sounds better this way doesn’t it?). I didn’t use to stress over exams before… I think it’s the caffeine working its magic right now. Still I can’t study for shit.

I’m sleepy

I can’t sleep until I waste some time watching 9gag.tv or some or the other movie. I start watching at 1, end up sleeping on my MacBook by 3 or 4. Wake up tired. Hate all this. I have a lot of inertia, I now realise. Like, a lot a lot. Also, Game of Thrones! I love that show. It’s really stressful avoiding spoilers though. The internet is dark and full of spoilers. You have to keep chanting that.

What am I going on ranting about? This wasn’t even what this post was gonna be about…

It was gonna be another one of my classic cry-over-my-life fest. My life isn’t perfect and it won’t be.  I just hate that about life. My life. There’s just this thing in my head that believes that some other particular people have perfect lives. I call that thing my brain. Maybe I’m just too jealous. 

I’m trying to care less

Or am I? I don’t know. Well the best part is, I don’t have to think about this. But it constantly keeps gnawing me. I have a HUGE guilty conscience. She calls me a pussy, among other things. I have to pretend like I’m not hurt and shit. I don’t know what the future holds. But… brace yourselves, vacations are coming. I can’t help but feel scared and depressed thinking about it. That’s because of the perfect track record of previous vacations making me suicidal. I don’t need to share why. I know.

Sleep, man.

It’s true I’ve caught my flow… better sleep now. I can think of a million more things, a million more problems, a million more thoughts… I’ll just add a (good? witty?) picture to this post and try to sleep.

Limits

There’s only so much one can bear. Everyone has their limits, being human beings. Well, I’m a human too. And I’ve had my limits touched. I don’t know if I can take it anymore. They’ve been pulling me from both sides. I feel like a rope in a tug of war match.

No one’s ever been easy on me. Everyone I’ve ever known has been increasingly selfish. There are some people who are exceptions though. Some gems in the coal. But I ‘ve made an excellent point throughout my life to drive them away from me. All I’m left with is selfish assholes. Assholes that exploit me. It’s mostly my fault that this is happening, since I was too dumb to allow it to start in the first place. If only I had a time machine…

I actually can’t remember the last time I was genuinely happy. They say it’s never too late. But believe me, it is when you’ve had enough. I can’t fight… I don’t have the power to. I don’t feel powerful enough to take any kind of step. I’m suffering in silence.

Till when? I have no idea… This might end in suicide. I’ve never been like this before… But the past year has made me so negative. I always looked at life as something to be cherished. But those thoughts seem so unreal now.

Through the last shred of positivity left in me, I can just manage to say this:
I hope I get through this.

Feels like December

It’s December! And the cool winter is setting in.

Uhm, not so much though. I mean the second part of the sentence is true, but I dunno, there’s something about this November that’s making it feel like December. Maybe the atmosphere and the weather. Maybe every November feels like this to me, but I haven’t stopped to notice before.

Last December was a particularly disturbing and eventful one. And by eventful I mean the bad way. Still, no matter how worse things get, I still can’t be mad at December. There’s a little Christmas light that glows in my heart when I think about last December. Yes this ought to describe it perfectly.

New December on its way. And I am armed with Nothing Was The Same. Bring it on!

PS: you should really read those Vanity Cards Chuck Lorre posts at the end of The Big Bang Theory’s every episode.

People

What are people? 

Over smart animals that think they own a planet named Earth. 

I mean yeah I’m blabbering and yeah it’s 2:30 in the morning and I’ve got better things to do but I choose not to…

Update


Hey! It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like posting here. I know no one reads all the crap I say but still. I like to post stuff here every once in a while… this is sorta like my online diary. 

So anyways, I’m still the paranoid guy you know from a few posts ago. I don’t really know anything. And even if I do, I maybe think it’s not important. 

All I know is, that I have a problem. A really bad one. I take things way too lightly. I want to get out of it, but hey, it’s really tough because I take this lightly too you know. 

Ofcourse I wanna be something in life! Ofcourse I wanna achieve something worth my potential! But why can’t I! 

Because I take everything too lightly…. 

I’m typing this without thinking anything… I don’t really know why. I don’t care about writing a quality post at the moment. Just going with the flow. Please bear with me and don’t stop reading… Thank you.

Who are you?


I really have no way of knowing do I? And maybe I don’t want to. That’s one of the reasons I chose tumblr way back when I started this blog.

Are you a guy? A girl? Or are you the future me? (Hi)

Anyways, I’ve learnt a few things in life.

1. It’s always gonna be confusing.

2. You might never know what the future holds.

3. You might not have all the answers, or maybe you may have none.

4. Stop after four shots.

5. Don’t judge people by their command over the English language.

6. Parents play a huge part of what you turn out to be.

These titles don’t make any sense to me either

I blabber a lot, man. I’m not crystal clear about anything in life at the moment. I know I’ve said this like a million times… 

It’s not that I haven’t grown or that nothing has happened in my life in so many days. It’s been quite the opposite. I’ve been through a lot and it’s not been all easy on me. I’ve become, if this was possible, mature. And I hate being like this.

I mean, first it was like, sure, whatever! But now… no. I have to think about everything. I sure miss being naive.

Drake


I’m still into him. Yes.

Nothing was the same is set to be launched this September 17th. And man I’ve been waiting. 

Sudden Observation

I’ve had a lot of time to think before, since I was pretty lonely at that point in my life. I don’t really have time to think about anything these days… Being alone is very important guys. Add that to my list.

7. Always find things where you get to spend some time with your self.

What do you think about me?


Hey. If you judge me by any of the things I’ve written, that says a lot about you. But I’m not judging. People are what they are, I feel. They go through a lot of phases and moods through their time. It’s just a curse of being smarter than other species on the planet. Because whatever you do or say or think is directly because of your mental state at that point in time. And everything affects your mental state and by everything I mean everything. Running late? Effective. Coffee too sweet? Effective. Saw a dog or a cat or a whatever on your way over? Effective. And it all just mushes up together and affects your stupid brain somehow. 

I’d like to take my leave now. This was refreshing, I should do this often.

Much to your discomfort. 

Mark Zuckerburg’s Meme Website.

Oh no no, Mr. Mark Zuckerberg hasn’t opened a new website. I’m referring to the only website everybody knows Zuckerberg owns, facebook.

Now being the lazy guy I am, the only knowledge I have about “thefacebook“‘s not so humble origins is from The Social Network, as do most of you I hope. So yeah, facebook started out as a website to connect Harvard students and the “elite” who owned a harvard.edu email.

But if it would remain limited to that, facebook wouldn’t have as it proudly flaunts on its “newsroom” page, “More than a billion monthly active users as of December 2012”.Being the brilliant website and phenomenon facebook is, it was bound to be a super-hit once made public. But even the obsoleted Yahoo Messenger, Orkut or Google Plus started out like that. What made facebook going? As Jesse Eisenberg (as Zuckerberg) says about facebook in the movie, “It won’t be finished. That’s the point. The way fashion’s never finished”. There we have it. It’s all about taking it all down and re-inventing it regularly. 

Facebook as all of us users know, has been through a lot of stages right in front of our eyes. It’s been growing and becoming better every passing stage. It has the ability to adapt, grow and fit in around us.

And that’s only because of one reason: We all are facebook.

That’s right! We make facebook what it is. If nobody posted their stupid opinions about something nobody cares about, or if girls didn’t post their pics with quotes not related to the picture at all, we’d soon lose interest.


Today, as of now, if you open your facebook homepage it shall be flooded with just one thing. Pictures that try to be smart and/or funny.
Every third news story would be of your friends sharing a pic that made them laugh or think. Some like to see these pics, some just get annoyed to the point of unfriending people sharing them. I for one, not hate these memes in the right quantity. They are fresh and entertaining. As of now…

The Holy Share Button

Facebook loves to re-invent like I said, and during one of these re-inventions it added a nifty little button next to the like and comment buttons already there, called Share.

You could share shareable news posts on all of the internet right on to your wall, for all of your friends to see. This changed everything. It made facebook awesome as all the awesome news your friends saw, you could see.

So basically, this little button sparked the spread of all the memes you see today on your home page.

Memes

Funny cats, the F7U12 guy, stupid dogs, Yao Ming’s Bitch Please, the list goes on…

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While “What is a meme?” (Pronounced: meem) might just be one of the most asked questions ever, it’s hard to explain them really. 

From Harlem Shake videos to planking, even these are memes. Basically, memes are a trend on the internet that anybody can participate in. 

If it’s an image, you can change the upper and lower texts, if it’s a Harlem Shake video you can dance as you wish… as long as you follow the underlying principle of the trend.

So yes, welcome! Someone finally explained to you what memes mean.

Memes On Facebook

Memes are a phenomenon. Everybody loves to laugh. So why not use them to promote your brand? Bingo! Meet memetic marketing.It’s where the marketing teams use memes to create buzz about their products or services. Internet memes are pretty cost-effective too, as people practically spread them like wildfire themselves.

Here’s Beats by Dr. Dre failing at it… image

Now that’s how useful memes are… or are they? Despite becoming pop culture and cyber art, they are nothing but things that give you momentary mirth that you can live without.

So wrapping up, memes on facebook have hence become a huge medium for us to waste our time as watching a funny pic on your newsfeed while sitting your lazy ass on the couch is much more appealing than doing something productive. 

Suicide

Lost again. What is life?

When you’re down in the dump, groaning in your own vomit and not a care about the world or your girlfriend who’s already going through a tough time, as your friends and the whole party screams as the clock hits midnight, you still don’t realise what went wrong or what is going wrong because the high catches your conscious thinking and takes you back to sleeping like a baby.

I like to think about committing suicide every once in a while. It makes you realise what you actually care about. Call me crazy.

Things change, people change, even feelings change.

I’ve changed. It was a dark end to a bad year. But bad things do lead to good. They always have.

Wassup

It’s been a long time. Lots of things have happened. All of them good.

I just read my last post, man that guy was confused. Well in his defence, it was a confusing time.

He’s in a good college, and has met a nice girl. Loveee. He’s still getting used to not being single. But yeah knowing him, he’ll get there.

No one knows what the future holds. The past might be beautiful, nostalgic, haunting or sometimes even torturing. But the mystery of the future keeps us goin’.

I’ve met some decent people. Different kinds of people. The future has to be, can only be good.

I don’t know maybe I’m talking shit. I’m just a dream afterall.

Till it’s over.

Honestly, I’m pretty fuck up right now. but when I see it, all of this was meant to be happen. And it’s good for me. And I’m not just being positive here.

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I don’t know where I’ll be in a couple of years. Hell, I don’t even know where I’ll be in a couple of minutes. I don’t know what i want. I’m unsure about everything at the moment. Living just to live. For nothing.

The real problem is that I don’t know if I like her or not. There are some things you can’t be unsure about. And this is one of them. But the thing is, I’ve never had anything easy.

"When you don’t know why you love them, it’s true love."


Hey, I’m not hoping for anything. All I know that if one day we end up together, it’ll be one hell of a story to tell.

Read this… or not

Whatever. You’re reading this. Why are you reading this? Maybe because I asked you to. Or maybe ‘cause luckily you ended up here. Or maybe or maybe…

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Yeah. Boobs sell. Whatever. They do. Literally. But yeah, whatever.

Life.

I know I know sounds boring but what to do? We’re in it, gotta deal with it. Currently, at this point, my life sucks. Balls. There’s just one reason for that: Career. We all see ourselves as adults, living a comfortable life as a billionaire with a hot wife and two cool twin kids. Or is it just me?

Paranoia

I’m the definition of paranoid. I mean, I can’t even type this post without thinking every passing minute that “will it suck?” “will people like it?” Maybe everyone is. Maybe everyone is paranoid. Or maybe this is just me being paranoid. It’s a vicious circle, I tell you.

But seriously

Do you like this post?! Do you like this blog?!

The Leap Of Faith.

Dude! Don’t think a lot. Just go with it. How will you know if you don’t try? Don’t be scared of being scared. Being scared is normal. It’s human. These are dark times. Growing up. Finding who you are. The future might be scary, but you have to remember that just a little ahead there’s freedom.

Man this post is boring.

Is it? Or I’m just being paranoid again? Fuck it. It’s over. Go live your life.

Joblessness

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"If you do what you love, it’s not work."


Said a half minded douche. What the fuck does this even mean? Say I love killing people. Won’t that be a real stretch? Okay, granted I wouldn’t mind doing that over and over again till I die or I’m caught. But still, is it worth it? 

And when it comes to me, the only thing I absolutely love doing is NOTHING. What’s more beautiful than doing nothing all day long? Nothing. Being jobless is a real job, mind you.

Firstly, there’s the inner guilt chewing constantly on your insides. Mainly because you’re doing nothing to help the world. Solution: Say “Fuck the world!” and go on being jobless.

Secondly, there’s parents. They are absolutely hell bent on making you stop doing nothing, even if that’s what you love. Solution: Plug into your headphones to drown the noise, and continue doing nothing!

Thirdly, and the worst of all, is jealousy. Jealousy drives you insane man. Seeing friends excel in life and getting admissions in colleges in the U.S.A while you’re stuck here in your crappy country contemplating suicide is just pathetic. Solution: Distract yourself. An occupied mind can’t think about doing something productive.

I hope you learnt a lot from this post, as it was a sheer result of distraction!